Warning: If you haven't seen the movie yet, I'd recommend going out to see it now (hey! It's Saturday- time for a break from life and some time at the theater). The following post contains "spoilers" from the movie so if you're planning on watching it but haven't yet, please hold off on reading the post.
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It's the end of the movie. The theater is tense. How could it not be with so many emotionally charged themes and scenes that have been drawing us into Oskar's world for the past 2 hours? As I watched him journey through many towns and meet various people while searching for the lock to the key his father left behind, I too, began to hope he would find a magnificent safety deposit box that had books filled with letters from his father or large sums of money or secrets passed down through generations. But in this moment, when he finds out where the key belongs, all those hopes were dropped as I realized that for Oskar, this season in his life wasn't going to lead him to a final answer, but rather provide him with a journey that would build his relationship with his mother, his grandfather and within himself. The journey was the destination in this movie.
Throughout the movie, as Oskar travelled the city by himself, I kept wondering about his mother. My judgement would rise as he would run out the door with his map and bookbag, a young 10-11 year old braving the city streets of New York. His mother was portrayed as too weak to chaperone him. And yet, at the end of the movie, I was given a picture of true parenting as Oskar's mother (played by Sandra Bullock), sat down with her son and told him that she had been following his journey all along. She told dozens of stories of how she found his maps and visited each location before he did; telling the family that her son would be coming to see if they knew anything about his key, asking the families to take good care of him and help him in this exploration as much as possible.
"How did you know, Mom?" Oskar asks. "How did you know what I was doing?"
"Well, I just tried to think like you," she replied. Oskar was incredulous. All this time, he thought he was embarking on the journey of a lifetime alone and here was his mother, this person he thought was too weak to understand anything, preparing the way for him to explore exactly what he needed to explore in order to grieve his loss and confusion. Although her way of doing things was completely different than his, she entered into his way of being to connect and protect him in a way that only a parent can do. He wouldn't have let her into his journey if he knew that she was helping clear the way; he had to believe he was doing it alone. He didn't trust her enough at that point in time. And yet, after the fact, when he returned without the result he had planned, she gently walked him through the entire process of how he hadn't been alone the entire time. They reminisced on the people they met, the lessons Oskar learned and how the process of searching ultimately helped him grieve and grow.
What a beautiful picture of God in our lives. How many times do you think you are alone in a situation? How many times does it appear that God is just too weak or doesn't care enough to: provide that job, heal that friend, renew that relationship? And so we trudge forward, cognitively forcing ourselves to believe He is with us, yet deeply questioning His presence or provision all the while.
Personally, I am looking forward to sitting in Heaven and walking through my journey with my Creator. Seeing His presence weaved throughout my life will only strengthen our relationship. For now, I know that I may not always understand the journey that I'm on~ life can be all together confusing at times. But I do have the knowledge that I have a Heavenly Father who has gone before me to prepare every interaction I may have. He knows my weak places. He knows my stubbornness. He knows my heart when I question Him and my trust level is low. And yet He gives me the grace to obey Him in the way I know how. I believe that, like Oskar, He knows I may try to figure some things out without Him. And yet He's still in control even when I do not acknowledge Him to be.
Ultimately, my prayer is that God will continue to give me grace to obey Him better than I know how. Living with this knowledge and prayer, I am reminded that it's His grace that allows me to obey Him even once. I can study and pray and seek Him diligently, but there will always be some things I just don't understand. Living in His grace turns our relationship from one of me striving to obey Him to a relationship where I allow Him to live and be through me.
