My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up. --Psalm 5:3
Retire from the world each day to some private spot, even if it be only the bedroom (for a while I retreated to the furnace room for want of a better place). Stay in the secret place till the surrounding noises begin to fade out of your heart and a sense of God's presence envelops you. Deliberately tune out the unpleasant sounds and come out of your closet determined not to hear them. Listen for the inward Voice till you learn to recognize it. Stop trying to compete with others. Give yourself to God and then be what and who you are without regard to what others think. Reduce your interests to a few. Don't try to know what will be of no service to you. Avoid the digest type of mind--short bits of unrelated facts, cute stories and bright sayings. Learn to pray inwardly every moment. After a while you can do this even while you work. Practice candor, childlike honesty, humility. Pray for a single eye. Read less, but read more of what is important to your inner life. Never let your mind remain scattered for very long. Call home your roving thoughts. Gaze on Christ with the eyes of your soul. Practice spiritual concentration.
This weekend I was blown away by the sheer amount of love and joy I experienced. Thursday I was able to have lunch with my sister Jami and after class I took my niece Madison to a movie and out for ice cream. Both times made me overwhelmingly grateful for these new family members and the joy they bring to my life.
Madison is quite the dog lover, so on a routine visit to walk the dogs at SPCA, she and her mom Linnea ran across a dog that caught their attention. It was a young pekingese named "Precious". They saw something special in the dog (who is now renamed 'Mia') and decided to foster it until the "perfect" owner comes along.
Sweet little Mia
Fitness and Friday
Friday was a bit of a "catch up" day for me. I tried out a new class at the gym called CX30. It was intense but just long enough. I am really looking forward to joining this new gym (Adrenaline Fitness ) because they offer LES MILLS classes which are, in my opinion, the best group fitness classes available. When I worked at a gym in Athens, I was preparing to learn how to teach Body Combat , which is hands down the most exciting group fitness class I've ever taken.
Friday evening Daniel and I ate dinner at a cute restaurant called MoSaIc . It has an adorable cottage feel to it and the food wasn't too bad either. The price is decent if you have a Scoutmob discount, otherwise it's a little high (in my opinion).
A very random & awkward picture of us after dinner :)
Adoption Hope for Sage
Saturday we started the day at The Social House for breakfast. They just came out with a ScoutMob and the restaurant is extremely close to where we live so we were very excited about the new 50% off deal. After breakfast, we started the process of finding our fostered dog, Sage, an adopted family. We took him to Pet Smart to meet a woman who works for a Buckhead Pet Adoption agency. She spent some time with him and introduced him to other dogs. Much to our relief, she said that they could work with him and he seemed to be very adoptable. She did remind us that the process could take awhile but we are just so grateful to have a first step in place. She also taught us some tricks to help Sage obey and so far it's been extremely helpful! Please pray we will find the perfect home for him. One of us will be at PetSmart in Buckhead almost every Saturday from around 12-2 so feel free to send any interested individuals our way.
He's such a handsome dog!
A Special Saturday Evening Surprise
Saturday afternoon I spent some time reading in the living room because Daniel was very clear that I was banned from the kitchen area. Apparently he was planning something for our evening and didn't want me to know about it. Around 7 pm, he packed up the car and took me to a spot overlooking the city. It was the place where we had our first kiss and it was a beautiful night. He pulled out a bottle of wine and some sparkling water for me and began to set the table with my grandmothers china and an entire meal prepared by him.
About halfway through the meal, he pulled out a little booklet. He reminded me that our vows were important, but they were so formal and they were written before we had a chance to truly see what the other person really needed. Now that we have been married a little over a year, he wanted to show me that he took the time to create an additional "covenant" list of all the ways he desires to love and serve me throughout our lives together. At that point, I was crying (and laughing because I was crying, which is how it usually goes for me). It was such a beautiful picture of how God desires a man to love his wife daily and I felt so undeserving but thankful.
The table set up
Great view of the city
The great thoughtful one!
After dinner, Daniel pulled out some dessert (swiss cake rolls in a crystal glass!) and we spent some time reminiscing and being thankful just to be together. It was truly an amazing night.
Gotta love the swiss cake rolls in crystal!
First page of the little booklet Daniel made for me...
Beautiful sunset
Who makes you nervous?
This morning we headed to church and I was blown away by the sermon. In summary, our pastor spoke about how Christians are now known in popular culture for 2 things: What we don't like and who we don't like. It broke my heart that we are known more for what we are NOT rather than what/who we ARE. This is a concept that permeates all areas of life, in my opinion. If I am consistently focusing on who I am not, it's harder for me to focus on who I AM. I believe it's important to know the distinction between the two but it's important to become an individual whose love and integrity is forefront, rather than the things I dislike or disagree with...
Upon leaving, we were challenged to seek out individuals who make us nervous. I believe that is beautiful way to live- constantly letting God stretch us and teach us about our judgments and stereotypes. We all have them but it's what we do with them that matters.
The rest of today was filled with errands and cleaning. Not exactly blogworthy, but then again, I'm not writing to a specific audience. One thing that IS blogworthy, though, is the new steam cleaner I purchased today. It literally sanitizes your floor with steam. Yes, I am becoming ridiculously domestic. I have been waiting to buy this steam cleaner for almost a year and today I finally felt a peace about purchasing it. I took my 20% off certificate to Bed, Bath and Beyond and came out with this beauty:
After using this, I literally said (out loud), "This is SICK!" It was that awesome.
And now, some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, prayer time with Daniel and my new favorite worship song to top off the weekend...
Our Independence Day weekend was filled with celebrating! Earlier this month, my friend Carla spoke to me about the importance of celebrating our relationships, friendships and people in general. It really resonated with me because that is a desire of my heart: to really celebrate life and the people I encounter. This weekend provided some great opportunities to do just that.
As usual, my weekend started Thursday night (I'm sure taking advantage of this summer schedule). Thursday evening I was able to have a last minute dinner with some good college friends of mine, Kellie and Rachel (we missed you, Steph!). I'm so thankful that we have been able to stay in touch for the past 5 years. We have endured new towns, new jobs, new relationships and new last names together. It's been a joy to walk through life with them and it was great to catch up over some food at Atlantic Station.
On Friday morning, I spent some great time in prayer with some ladies from a ministry called "Adventures of the Heart". It was a sweet and revealing prayer time and I'm so thankful for their ministry and the impact it's making in women's hearts. After our prayer time, I dropped by Wellspring to deliver an assessment for one of the women and then ate lunch at one of my favorite places, CAFE INTERMEZZO!
Friday evening was a great catch up night and Daniel and I started on our "operation clean house". We just built a new deck and we will be tearing out a window in our kitchen to install a door out to the deck and a sidelight. This weekend, Daniel is assembling the shed we've been storing for months, so I'm really excited for him to be able to move some of his "man stuff" out of the garage! :)
Saturday evening was the beautiful celebration of our friend John. It was his 40th birthday so everyone did it up BIG. Here are some pictures of the event:
He looked like a southern Senator so we called him that all night. He definitely played the part well. :)
It was a wonderful time with friends and amazing food! John is definitely a person to be celebrated! After dinner it was so beautiful outside and my feet were hurting so bad from my heels so my friend Carla and I took our shoes off and walked to the open space beside the event area and just laid flat in the grass. We talked about all kinds of things and then Dan and Adam joined us. It was such a sweet time with friends.
Carla and I before dinner
Sunday was fairly typical in that it consisted of church, reading and relaxing with Daniel. We also had a great, carb-filled dinner at Olive Garden. I had to store up all my energy for the Peachtree Road Race the next morning! A friend of mine wasn't able to run it so she transferred her number to me. It was such a gift!
I am so incredibly sore today because I didn't run at all for the past two months, so going out to run 6.2 miles without training probably wasn't the smartest idea but it was so worth it. I was also so thankful that my heart held up great throughout the whole race.
The rest of the day was spent running errands and relaxing. On the evening of the 4th, we drove up to the top of the cemetery to see the fireworks but we only saw a few because of the rain.
Here are a few highlights from the race:
My favorite part! Running underneath a shower of "Holy Water" that the church had strategically placed on the side of the road.
The flag at the starting line and a tired, hot (but happy) Julie at the finish line.
Loved the energy at the Peachtree and I hope to do it again next year!
Since it's the 4th of July I'm posting a narrative I wrote about an experience I had on Independence Day a few years ago. It has forever shaped my view of freedom.
It started on Tuesday. I received a call from her, and I could hear her 'boyfriend' rummaging through things in the background. Every time he came into the room, she had to hang up the phone. This 'boyfriend' was not the romantic kind, his idea of love consisted of encouraging her to engage in self-destruction and perversion to feed his drug habit. Although she was torn by her 'love' for him, she was starting to fear for her life, so she called me. Ready to get out of her world of prostitution and crack hotels, she followed my phone instructions to the nearest Marta station with only the belongings she could carry on her back. When I met her at the hospital, I saw that her bones were protruding through her chest, and, since the last time I saw her, her eyes had morphed from somewhat alive into a blank stare of hopelessness. "I'm here because I have plans to harm myself," she flatly shared with the admissions coordinator. After placing her in privacy for about 20 minutes, we headed through the double doors into the blank, empty white room they had prepared for her. It matches her eyes, I thought, as she pulled out her phone and began text messaging her 'friends' to tell them she was getting help. The nurses came and went, and so did her stories, as I sat in this foreign room with her, wanting to provide a warm bed for her but knowing the hospital restraints might soon prove to be a saving grace as she came down from the drugs. After the nurses told me she was "1013'ed", on suicide watch and not able to leave, I told her I'd be back and headed to my part-time job as social coordinator for my apartment complex. Ironically, it was pizza party night-- and I was the host. Life can be altogether confusing at times, and the stark contrast of mediocre and conventional living coupled with the reality of incredible pain and suffering have always baffled me, because I seem to bounce back and forth between the two on a consistent basis. No wonder I feel wobbly at times. After the residents enjoyed their pizza and ice cream sundaes, I grabbed my belongings and headed back to the hospital. Apparently her last few hours while I was away were far from a party for her and the hospital staff... "She's a feisty little one," a nurse told me when I returned. "We had to restrain her and she got out of the restraints so we had to sedate her." "I'm sorry," I said, as if I could've somehow avoided their efforts by staying in the hospital room. I would soon come to see that no amount of persuasion can change the human will, once someone's mind is made up. I hesitantly walked into her room and prayed for guidance. When I walked up to her bed, she broke into tears. I ran my fingers over her hair and I squeezed her shoulder. "I had a little spell," she said. "I don't know what got into me and I don't know why I did that." She was condemning herself now. The shame had set in. She didn't need a lecture at this point, so I knelt down to her level and looked her in the eyes and said, "Probably because your freedom was being taken away at that moment." Initially, she was surprised that I understood, but she quickly nodded and agreed. "It's strange how we have to give up some of our freedom for a short period of time to receive ultimate freedom, huh? That true, lasting peace and joy in a new life free from the bondage of addiction," I commented, almost under my breath. She glanced over my way yet again and agreed. But did she really? The days passed, and her lack of insurance left her in a state run psychiatric hospital. Walking into the facility on Saturday, I immediately felt that the place was 'other-worldly'. Inside the fenced in playground, patients were walking around in circles talking to themselves, others were paranoid and screaming because 'he was looking at me the wrong way'. All I knew to do was pray -- I tried not to stare, judge, or fear as I rang the doorbell to the locked facility. I met with her and the nurse, we did the exit assessment and walked in silence to my car. It felt good to be taking her to a home, but I couldn't help but wonder about the people who were at this hospital for good. It was Independence Day-- yet their mental illness was keeping them in jail-like conditions, both mentally and physically. --- A few hours, a shopping trip and a full stomach later, we arrived at our emergency shelter. Excited to start her new life, she eagerly signed her application forms. She walked around the house, examining the rooms and debating whether or not she could make this new place her home. She began to settle in and it was time for me to leave. Going through the normal procedure, I asked for her purse to check and retrieved her phone to place in safe keeping. Knowing that she wasn't able to have her personal phone was one thing, but the moment it was actually taken away, a deep fear sparked inside her and she began to cry. Her life had been a constant battle for survival. Her body had been used as 'property' of someone else and alternating hotel rooms were her home(s), but that phone was HERS, one thing that she could use to weather the storms of living on the streets. The numbers all told stories of other homeless people she called 'friends', those who were just trying to make it through their brokenness for one more day, people like HER. People more like US than we care to admit. Her mind had now begun to take her back to the streets. She was no longer on the path to freedom-- she was afraid. The fear of the unknown seized control, and she had her mind made up-- "I'm going back to the crack and back to him," she said, as large tears rolled down her checks. "I thought I could do this but I can't." We talked for many minutes in that beautiful home. We talked about the path she had been taking, the reason she called for help, and what could happen if she left. We talked about her future and her intelligence and her beauty and how the streets and drugs and 'johns' had all promised her freedom but given her slavery. Yet she was determined to return to them. They were all she'd ever known and she wasn't ready to start a new journey yet-- not tonight at least. Since she is an adult, we had no choice but to let her leave. Not wanting her to 'find ways' to get a bus ticket back to the city, I drove her there. "You can drop me off anywhere near Midtown," she said. "I'm sorry for making you go out of your way. I bet you're frustrated with me." My words were not enough as I expressed to her that my frustration was FOR her, not AT her. My sadness was not because she had taken 30 hours out of my workweek, or that I missed the 4th of July celebration with friends and family, but because I witnessed her being offered true freedom and I saw her turn her back on it. My heart broke because I knew what she was going to have to do that night just to have a place to sleep when she had the most beautiful warm and safe bedroom waiting for her across town. "Freedom" is defined as "personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery". As we drove through the city that 4th of July, violent and beautiful fireworks lit up the sky, and I began to understand the concept of freedom in a way I never really wanted to grasp, until now. Freedom is so much more 'personal' than any other right. It can be given, but the very nature of freedom is that it can just as easily be refused. We pulled in next to a slew of restaurants, one being a pizzeria. "This is as good as anywhere," she said. The irony of it crossed my brain for a moment, but it was soon overshadowed by the pain of seeing her step out, walk into the night and walk right back into the slavery of addiction. Oh the power of human decision. I'm in awe of it and annoyed by it all together at once. TRUE freedom is so powerful that once we see a glimpse of it, we desire to return to it during moments of clarity. It's a pull toward all that God created us to be-- relational beings with the power to choose Him or not. But Love remains regardless of the choice. God's gift of human free will shows us that God values our ability to choose over His desire for us to make the right choice. We could've been created as beings who would always do what He wants at the moment He wants it-- but that is not the nature of love. We could've been created to HAVE to choose to live in relationship with Jesus-- but what good is a love relationship when it's forced? Freedom and love simply cannot be divorced from each other. Freedom is placed before us in many areas of life--but we MUST grasp it-- and cling to it-- because fear will try it's very best to paralyze us. The courage to walk in true freedom is not the easy route-- it requires faith in the unknown. The courage to release others to make their own choices can be heartbreakingly painful-- but I've come to see that it's the essence of love. Even when it hurts. "People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway." - Mother Teresa
